Beyond Meaning, Angst and Compulsion To Wholeness

On the path to wholeness we can find ourselves going through times of existential angst. This is the feeling that there is no reason to live. There is no meaning in anything we do, and it can seem like an impasse. We can can have strong feelings about our existence such as:  "If this is reality, then what?"

A State Of Flux
This state arises because we are in a phase that is really a transition. We have become objective enough to see that our meaning and purpose in life has arisen almost entirely from compulsion. We see how most of our goals and aspirations consist of some sort of compensation for our inner feelings or beliefs.

Before integration the wounded aspects of our selves along with their defensive front line rule most of our desire and action. We begin to understand and see this in ourselves and the recognition that there is no meaning in life (or so it now seems) can bring on some very painful feelings of loss and hopelessness.

The Loss Of Deceit
This occurs because the wounded parts of us are now without their panacea. Before there was always the hope that that the next thing would do it. We could achieve our dreams, find this perfect mate or get this wonderful object and fulfillment would be ours. Or we could fix this thing that is "causing" our pain and we would be OK. When we lose the ability to deceive ourselves this way, we have lost our proverbial "carrot on a stick" that is always hanging in front of us to keep us moving forward. This can be true of  both positive and negative goals.

Wholeness Through Integration
So where do we go from here? The only way out is "through". We must consistently work through every hidden pain. We must bring the darkness to the light. We must liberate every unhealed aspect of our wounded 'selves'. This is the path to Wholeness through Integration.